The Level of Pain

"I thought, 'There's no way anyone can survive this kind of pain. You can't have this kind of pain and live,'" says Yvette. "It was the most excruciating pain I have ever experienced in my life. I kept thinking, I'll soon die. Then I realized I wasn't going to die, and I would pray: 'Lord, please take my life.'"

The level of pain you are feeling is beyond the comprehension of someone who has not been through divorce. People around you may mean well, but they cannot understand how deep the pain cuts and why it would have such an extreme effect on the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual aspects of your life.

DivorceCare will be held every Thursday

at the Church of the Nazarene in Westlock

starting September 17th at 7:00 p.m.

You don’t have to go through it alone

Most people will tell you that separation and divorce are the most painful and stressful experiences they’ve ever faced. It’s a confusing time when you feel isolated and have lots of questions about issues you’ve never faced before.

DivorceCare will be held every Thursday

at the Church of the Nazarene in Westlock

starting September 17th at 7:00 p.m.

Where do you turn?

Steve is the kind of guy no one thought divorce could ever find.

“You get the warning signals. You briefly consider whether you should prepare; then you think, No, that couldn’t happen to me.” Then suddenly separation and divorce rips through your life like a tornado, crushing and destroying everything in your life. You feel like a bottomless pit has opened up beneath you and there is no hope. There is not one facet of your life that is left untouched. Every minute in North America, two marriages fail and 2,100 children hear, “We’re separating.”

“I felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest, and no one would talk with me or even listen to my fears”. “People kept telling me “Get on with your life… there is someone out there for you.”

When he figured out that a divorce was inevitable, Steve wanted to do something positive, not just sit around and let his thoughts weigh him down. That's when he found Jean's DivorceCare class at the Church of the Nazarene.

Steve decided to go in with an open mind. "You're worried that since you're going through a divorce, you've got this big, black mark on you, but what I found was people going through the same thing I was. There's a fellowship that develops."

DivorceCare, is a 13-week series that addresses all the feelings and emotions people experience when going through separation or divorce, and it equips them with tools to understand and work through these feelings.

Steve calls DivorceCare “the emergency room where people can come to get the help they need in a safe atmosphere”. It is the trauma center for people whose lives have been ripped apart by the divorce tornado.

There are over 30 Christian counselors and ministers who speak on the videos addressing topics such as Anger, Depression, Loneliness, How Divorce Affects the Children, What the Bible Says About Divorce, Forgiveness, Reconciliation and Single Sexuality. “On the videos are real people who have gone through divorce and are expressing their feelings and emotions; there was always someone on the videos that I could relate to”.

"You don't really realize all of the emotions and uncertainty inside you when you start out" he said. "The good thing is that while you're dealing with all of those issues, you can have a place where people understand you."

Westlock’s Church of the Nazarene is one of over 10,000 churches around the world that offer DivorceCare, a non-denominational faith-based program that tries to help people whose marriages have fallen apart.

In the end, the mostly negative experience of his divorce ended up strengthening Steve’s faith. "You sometimes wonder why God would let you go through something like this." "But now, I'm getting to serve other people, and that's wonderful."

Steve has lead 13-week DivorceCare programs for more than five years. "We're very open about having a spiritual approach and for some people, that's a bit of a turnoff, at least at first. We also have strict rules about confidentiality."

Each of the groups Steve has taught has been different ranging in size from three to fifteen people. “The fellowship among participants probably does not form immediately. Participants may be wary of one another, especially depending on the cause of the separation”. DivorceCare allows people to sit down and talk with others who are in the same situation. "People enjoy the way it's set up - the support side, the video side and the Bible study," he said. "You can move as slowly or quickly as needed through each session."

Even if a divorce occurred long ago, the program has been known to help people find solace years later. Steve has faith that the program can be beneficial: "I've seen some real positive results."

DivorceCare will be held every Thursday at the Church of the Nazarene in Westlock starting September 17th at 7:00 p.m.

Why Divorce Hurts So Much

"It's pretty natural to expect hurt when a mate leaves, but I was not prepared for the level of hurt or the level of pain I felt," says Steve.

The pain of divorce is much deeper and more soul wrenching than most people can imagine, unless they have been through it themselves. Divorce can mean the end of your hopes and dreams, the end of your life as you have known it, a loss of control, and feelings of rejection, loneliness, and blame. There is anger, depression, helplessness, bitterness, resentment, feelings of worthlessness, and guilt. The list goes on and on.

"I was afraid that once I opened that door, the intensity of what I was feeling would break me into little pieces," says Marie. "I'd be scattered all over the floor in little tiny scraps, and I'd never be able to pull myself back together."

You will not be able to "hurry up and get over it." That is not possible. Instead, start by making a commitment to take a small step forward every day. Marie says, "Gradually God has put the pieces back together, and the pieces that I don't have anymore, the severing of the part of me that was bonded with my husband, God has healed and replaced. He's in the process of finishing that up."

DivorceCare... starts Thursday 7pm

Find help and healing for the hurt of a broken relationship, separation and divorce

Healing from your broken relationship, separation or divorce is not easy.
It’s a long, sometimes painful process.

We want to help you on your journey toward recovery. Don’t try to go through your broken relationship, separation or divorce alone. Link up with a DivorceCare divorce recovery support group. It’s a place where you’ll find caring people who understand the issues you face.

DivorceCare... starts Thursday 7pm

What's Happening?

Divorce is like a tornado—ripping through your life, threatening to destroy everything in its path. The emotional whirlwinds bring fear, confusion, and despair, affecting you, your children, family members, and friends. You will likely wonder Why did this storm hit my life and why does it hurt so much?

Dr. Jim A. Talley says, “The reality is that divorce is the most painful thing you can go through because it impacts so much of your life. There’s no way around or easy way out. And everybody is looking for a painless way out of this whole situation.”

It is easier to clean up the physical damage of a tornado than the emotional damage caused by divorce.

“I hated life,” says Ginny. “I woke up every morning, and I absolutely hated it. I hated the pain that I woke up with and the pain that I went to sleep with.”

You may wish you could get through the pain quicker, but healing is a process, a day-by-day, moment-by-moment process. In order to experience any level of recovery, you must see it through. There are no shortcuts. But take heart, in the coming days and weeks you will see it is possible to heal and to look to the future with hope.

“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future’” (Jeremiah 29:11).

DivorceCare... starts Thursday 7pm

Manage Money By Living From Heaven Backwards

This article is provided by Jason Price at One Money Design. Jason has a passion to see people prosper, become debt free, and experience financial freedom.

No matter the stage of life you’re in today, you’ve probably said to yourself,

“If only I would have known about (fill in the blank) 10 years ago my life would be different today.”

I think we’ve all said or thought that at one time or another. For many of us it’s about money and the decisions we’ve made managing it. In today’s economy we might often hear people say,

“if only I would have known to build emergency savings as a top priority when I finished school, I might not be accumulating so much debt today because of my job loss”.

Sure, sometimes it’s not about money. Sometimes, we talk about family and relationships and the lack of time spent with them, wishing things could be different today.

I heard a pastor once speak about his visits to a local hospital to encourage people with terminal illnesses. It’s interesting to know that no one he spoke or prayed with talked about their career accomplishments, cars, or other possessions in their final days. Instead, he said they always talk about their faith in God, family and relationships as the most important areas in their lives.

Most Christians would agree that faith in God and our relationship with Him is the top priority in life. Putting God first positions us to have a blessed marriage and other relationships because they are based on His solid foundation.

And so by putting God first, we can better understand the importance of living our lives from a Heaven backwards perspective (sometimes referred to as living with an eternal perspective). Of course it’s not easy to consistently live with this perspective on life, but it’s what we have to strive for as Christians to keep our priorities straight.
Living From A Heaven Backwards Perspective

Imagine if all of the sudden peoples’ decisions with money management were from a Heaven backwards perspective. People would certainly make different choices with how they make, spend, save and give it. They could begin to see money as a delicate blessing which we are all to manage wisely for prosperity as well as for the good of others.

Managing money from heaven backwards requires doing a few things that might cause some to raise a brow or advise against, but essential to live from this perspective.

Consider the below Manage Money from Heaven backwards Checklist to see what perspective you’re using to manage your money:

* Do you recognize God as the owner of all things and you are the manager of what has been entrusted to your care?
* Do you spend wisely by having a spending plan every month?
* Do you strive to live debt free? This includes spending money based on what one can afford (according to your plan) versus the amount of credit which may be available.
* Do you give of your first fruits by tithing? Ultimately, it’s God’s money and through this action, you are trusting in God with your financial prosperity, i.e., there is no more a reason to “get rich” because God is in control.
* Do you give back to others by sharing success stories and helping people know what it means to manage money from Heaven backwards?

If you can only say yes to 3 you may need to consider seeking counsel to identify specific action steps for your situation.

Many may define financial freedom as becoming debt free or getting into a position to where there is no more dependence on income from a job. However, the act of managing money from Heaven backwards is financial freedom.

Seeking help with a personal financial plan... talk with Pastor Steve at WestlockNaz at gmail dot com