Many people enter into new relationships with the illusion that the new relationship will be different, better, because they have learned from their mistakes.
"The only thing you've learned from your mistakes is that you've made mistakes," says Gary Richmond. "You have to learn new methods of behavior in order to overcome the problems you set up for yourself in the first relationship."
Roy says, "Most of the time people go from one relationship to the next with the same broken heart, the same scars, and the same unhealed wounds. The answer to the pain you feel is not another relationship. You've got to take your time and become a healed individual through the grace of God."
If you are basing your current behaviors on what did not work in the past, this is not a solid foundation for your life. God has provided you with the Bible, which is an instruction manual for life. He has also provided strong Christian teachers, counselors, church leaders, and biblically based books to help you establish roots and grow strong in your faith.
"I will show you what it's like when someone comes to me, listens to my teaching, and then obeys me. It is like a person who builds a house on a strong foundation laid upon the underlying rock. When the floodwaters rise and break against the house, it stands firm because it is well built. But anyone who listens and doesn't obey is like a person who builds a house without a foundation. When the floods sweep down against that house, it will crumble into a heap of ruins" (Luke 6:47-49 NLT).
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Faith and Fear
The following article was written by Pastor Jimmy Kibler. He Pastors a church in Melbourne, Florida.Faith and fear are opposites but work the same way. God will do nothing without faith and the devil can do nothing without fear. These two work the same way.
Psalm 118:6 says, “The Lord is on my side I will not fear what can man do to me?” If God is on your side, if God is involved in your life and if God is helping you why would you ever be afraid?
Faith and fear both work the same way but are exact opposites of each other.
Firstly we need to understand is that God operates by faith and will do nothing for you without faith. This very difficult for people to understand because many people believe or want to believe that God is moved by needs which He is not. If God was moved by needs nobody would ever get sick and die, or starve to death, or die and go to hell. But these things do happen every day.
The Bible tells us in Romans 5:2 that we have access into the grace of God by faith. If this is true, which it is, then only Faith will bring us into the Grace of God. Everyone does not experience the grace of God; only people with faith have this access.
Faith gives God access to our life and allows him to work with us and to help us.
Fear gives the devil access to peoples lives and allows him to work against you.
The Bible tells us in Hebrews 2:15 that people are in bondage because of a fear of death. The fear of death is the root of fear and people who are not born again have a fear of death because they are not sure where they are going to go when they die. People who know where they’re going to go when they leave this earth have no fear of death.
Even Job said in Job 3:25 “The thing, which I greatly fear, is come upon me and that which I was afraid of is come unto me.” What you are afraid of has access to you.
Much of fear is based in a fear of lack, the fear of not having enough. What we see on television every day right now is people talking about the economy and the fact that if our economy does not pick up people are not going to have enough.
The people in my church are not concerned about this because we know that God will provide for our needs according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus. This is called faith and this faith gives God access to our lives to provide for us, which He loves to do. The Bible tells us in Psalms 35:27 that God takes pleasure in our prosperity.
I tell people in my church and at financial increase conferences across the country that no matter what happens with our economy our covenant with God is still in effect.
Faith in God’s provision allows God to provide for you.
The fear of not having enough allows the devil to deprive you of what you need.
The Bible tells us in Romans 10:17 that “Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of God.” The only way to develop your faith is by hearing God’s Word and if you need provision in your life then you need to be hearing God’s word on provision or what we call prosperity.
Fear comes the same way, by hearing and hearing by the word of the world. What you hear on television every day about the economy and the lack of jobs will instil fear in you and allow the devil to deprive you of what you need.
Faith in God and in his provision will provide for you.
Faith and fear are both very powerful and if you have any ideas or suggestions for our readers in this area please share in the comments.
The Effect of Children
Another reason remarriages fail is the stress that children can add to the relationship.
"Children are the leading cause of second marriages coming to divorce," says Gary Richmond. "They see the stepparent as the enemy, and they strongly defend the missing parent in the home."
The loyalty of a child to a natural parent is strong. You may wonder how your children could still love and defend your former spouse who betrayed, abused, or abandoned you and your children. You might think that your children would welcome a new stepparent who is kind, loving, and patient. Be careful not to make assumptions where your children are concerned. They might come to accept a new person in the home and they might not. Children are a stressor to new relationships and remarriages.
Trying to change your children's feelings or loyalties can be harmful. That is not where you should focus your energies. Instead, teach them about and model the love of God. Let them observe you tenderly caring and praying for them and for the family every day. Bring them regularly to church. Read God's Word daily and share with them what you are learning. True, godly love is the only kind of love that brings healing and peace in a home. If you were ever to remarry, your new spouse should have these same values.
"Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up" (Deuteronomy 11:18-19).
"Children are the leading cause of second marriages coming to divorce," says Gary Richmond. "They see the stepparent as the enemy, and they strongly defend the missing parent in the home."
The loyalty of a child to a natural parent is strong. You may wonder how your children could still love and defend your former spouse who betrayed, abused, or abandoned you and your children. You might think that your children would welcome a new stepparent who is kind, loving, and patient. Be careful not to make assumptions where your children are concerned. They might come to accept a new person in the home and they might not. Children are a stressor to new relationships and remarriages.
Trying to change your children's feelings or loyalties can be harmful. That is not where you should focus your energies. Instead, teach them about and model the love of God. Let them observe you tenderly caring and praying for them and for the family every day. Bring them regularly to church. Read God's Word daily and share with them what you are learning. True, godly love is the only kind of love that brings healing and peace in a home. If you were ever to remarry, your new spouse should have these same values.
"Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up" (Deuteronomy 11:18-19).
Friday, February 26, 2010
Too Soon
One reason second marriages fail is because people are propelled into new relationships before they are ready. Sometimes friends and family will push you into a new relationship, thinking it will help you. A new relationship can feel great, but feelings do not guarantee a solid relationship down the road. Do not listen to friends who, though well-meaning, push you to move on before you are completely healed.
You must grieve your losses and know you are whole before you consider a new relationship. If you decide to get on with your life without dealing with the issues at hand, these issues will rise up again at a later time. When they do, the hurt and the pain will be even stronger.
H. Norman Wright shares what happened to a man he knew who remarried before becoming fully healed: "About four years after the remarriage, all of the sudden this man's buried feelings came out because his new partner began to exhibit some behaviors similar to his ex-spouse. That triggered all of those feelings that had never been dealt with, and the second marriage dissolved. It was a huge mess."
Healing comes from the Lord. Wholeness comes from the Lord.
"If you listen carefully to the voice of the LORD your God and do what is right in his eyes, if you pay attention to his commands and keep all his decrees, I will not bring on you any of the diseases I brought on the Egyptians, for I am the LORD, who heals you" (Exodus 15:26).
You must grieve your losses and know you are whole before you consider a new relationship. If you decide to get on with your life without dealing with the issues at hand, these issues will rise up again at a later time. When they do, the hurt and the pain will be even stronger.
H. Norman Wright shares what happened to a man he knew who remarried before becoming fully healed: "About four years after the remarriage, all of the sudden this man's buried feelings came out because his new partner began to exhibit some behaviors similar to his ex-spouse. That triggered all of those feelings that had never been dealt with, and the second marriage dissolved. It was a huge mess."
Healing comes from the Lord. Wholeness comes from the Lord.
"If you listen carefully to the voice of the LORD your God and do what is right in his eyes, if you pay attention to his commands and keep all his decrees, I will not bring on you any of the diseases I brought on the Egyptians, for I am the LORD, who heals you" (Exodus 15:26).
Thursday, February 25, 2010
A Comment about "Faith Like Potatoes"
JoAnn C Bastien, an ordained elder of the Church of the Nazarene in Detoit wrote: I was recently challenged to watch a movie called FAITH LIKE POTATOES. I am not really a movie person, so I was resistant to it. Actually, if it had not been an assignment for a class, I probably would not have seen it. The trailor for the movie and the back of the slip cover did not really tell you anything about it. I suppose I am glad for that.
The movie is about a farmer who comes to faith in Jesus Christ. It shows how his life is dramitcally changed. It is based on the true story of Angus Buchan. So much about this story challenged me. I think I was mostly convicted over his prayer life. He spent much time every day in prayer and scripture. Yet, he was a farmer, he and his wife ran an orphanage, and he began traveling as an preacher. Did he have time to spend in prayer and scripture? Did he not have time to spend in prayer and scripture?
In addition, we see a man of great faith in God. But this great faith only comes from all of his time with the Lord. Quality does not superceed quantity! If we want great faith, we must also spend significant time with the Lord in prayer and scripture.
New Relationships
Should you pursue a new relationship? What if you get involved in a new relationship prematurely? How can you avoid making wrong choices? We will explore the answers to these questions over the next several days.
Perhaps you are already in a new relationship or are interested in pursuing one. Maybe you feel you never want to be in another relationship again.
This range of feelings is normal; however, statistics show that approximately 75 percent of people who have been through divorce will someday remarry, and the majority of those second marriages will end in divorce.
Juana shares how she chose to wait and not jump ahead of God's plan for her life. She says, "My life was still in turmoil, and I did not know the answers, but I knew the One who knew the answers. I was willing to wait for whatever God had for me. I waited actively to see what God was going to do with my life. A couple from church mentored and discipled me for fifteen months, and I began to grow in my faith and to learn the Bible. I would come home from work and read my Bible, and I would love it. It was a special time."
In making all decisions of life, the first place to start is by praying and finding out what the Bible says about that particular situation. Your goal should be to see your circumstances from God's perspective and not your own limited view.
"I have set the LORD always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken" (Psalm 16:8).
Perhaps you are already in a new relationship or are interested in pursuing one. Maybe you feel you never want to be in another relationship again.
This range of feelings is normal; however, statistics show that approximately 75 percent of people who have been through divorce will someday remarry, and the majority of those second marriages will end in divorce.
Juana shares how she chose to wait and not jump ahead of God's plan for her life. She says, "My life was still in turmoil, and I did not know the answers, but I knew the One who knew the answers. I was willing to wait for whatever God had for me. I waited actively to see what God was going to do with my life. A couple from church mentored and discipled me for fifteen months, and I began to grow in my faith and to learn the Bible. I would come home from work and read my Bible, and I would love it. It was a special time."
In making all decisions of life, the first place to start is by praying and finding out what the Bible says about that particular situation. Your goal should be to see your circumstances from God's perspective and not your own limited view.
"I have set the LORD always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken" (Psalm 16:8).
Jesus as Your Guide
The Bible provides instruction for all situations in life. One of the best ways to read and study the Bible is to have a guide, and the best Guide you can have is Jesus. Having a personal relationship with Jesus Christ is referred to as salvation in Christ.
"Salvation is a gift," says Dee Brestin. "You need to ask Jesus for it. He has died and paid the price, and unless you ask Him to be your Savior and Lord, then you do not have a relationship with Him.
"Before I came to Christ, I thought, 'How boring to read the Bible. How silly to spend your life sitting in church.' After I came to Christ, I thought the Bible was fascinating, and I loved God's people. A change took place in me because God's Spirit came and lived in me when I asked Jesus into my life.
"If you have any doubt, why not be sure today and ask Jesus to be your Savior and Lord. All you have to do is admit your need for forgiveness and your need for Him."
You don't need to know the author of a book to read it and understand or enjoy it. But the Bible is unique. You need to know the Author—God—before you can really receive what He is saying in the Scriptures.
We encourage you to make sure you have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. It's the key to your healing and the key to understanding what the Bible has to teach on divorce, separation, and other issues in life.
"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life" (John 3:16).
"Salvation is a gift," says Dee Brestin. "You need to ask Jesus for it. He has died and paid the price, and unless you ask Him to be your Savior and Lord, then you do not have a relationship with Him.
"Before I came to Christ, I thought, 'How boring to read the Bible. How silly to spend your life sitting in church.' After I came to Christ, I thought the Bible was fascinating, and I loved God's people. A change took place in me because God's Spirit came and lived in me when I asked Jesus into my life.
"If you have any doubt, why not be sure today and ask Jesus to be your Savior and Lord. All you have to do is admit your need for forgiveness and your need for Him."
You don't need to know the author of a book to read it and understand or enjoy it. But the Bible is unique. You need to know the Author—God—before you can really receive what He is saying in the Scriptures.
We encourage you to make sure you have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. It's the key to your healing and the key to understanding what the Bible has to teach on divorce, separation, and other issues in life.
"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life" (John 3:16).
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)