Top Ten Things You Never Hear In Church

1 Hey! It’s my turn to sit in the front pew.
2 I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon went 25 minutes over time.
3 Personally I find witnessing much more enjoyable than golf.
4 I’ve decided to give our church the $500 a month I used to send to TV evangelists.
5 I volunteer to be the permanent teacher for the Junior High Sunday School class.
6 Forget the denominational minimum salary, let’s pay our pastor so he can live like we do.
7 I love it when we sing hymns I’ve never heard before!
8 Since we’re all here, let’s start the service early.
9 Pastor, we’d like to send you to this Bible seminar in the Bahamas next February.
10 Nothing inspires me and strengthens my commitment like our annual stewardship campaign!