Monday, February 1, 2010

Giving and Receiving Emotional Support

Emotionally, you have something to give. Other people in divorce situations are hurting, and they need to hear that they are not the only ones who feel devastated and helpless. Part of your emotional recovery is to realize that it is by giving away comfort—honest, deep, pain-filled comfort—that you in turn will truly be comforted.

Phil shares his experience: "One thing my friend and I would do to further that male bonding was to have lunch or dinner with each other. We were both divorced, and we both had children. We were both hurting and needed to be healed. I would call him when something went wrong. He would call me when something went wrong. We struggled through his court dates together, and I was there for him. To this day I can pick up the phone and call, and he will do the same with me."

This type of friend will be a wonderful help and a source of emotional support for you. In the Bible, David and Jonathan enjoyed a friendship blessed by God.

"David got up from the south side of the stone and bowed down before Jonathan three times, with his face to the ground. Then they kissed each other and wept together—but David wept the most. Jonathan said to David, 'Go in peace, for we have sworn friendship with each other in the name of the LORD, saying, 'The LORD is witness between you and me, and between your descendants and my descendants forever'" (1 Samuel 20:41-42).

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