Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Premature New Relationships

Another common mistake a parent can make is to enter into a new relationship too soon—before healing has occurred for both the parent and the children. As an adult you realize that life will go on. You understand that one day you may remarry and have another spouse. Children don't see things this way, and they don't have the option of choosing another parent; their parents will be their parents forever.

Most children harbor the idea that their parents will eventually get back together again. They are not ready for someone else to enter the picture. When they see their parent in a new relationship, it can be scary. They may worry that they are losing a parent again, that they will receive less attention with a new person around, or that things will change again in their already-changed lives.

"When my mom started dating, it bothered me," shares Melissa. "Every time she would get a boyfriend, I would always try to make him not want to be with us. Even if he had been the nicest guy in the world, I would not have liked him. Maybe I just didn't want to lose her since I already lost my dad."

Do not consider dating until you know that you are healed and content with your single status. When you do begin dating, go slow; do not bring the children into the picture until you know where things are going.

"Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD" (Psalm 27:14).

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