"It's not a matter of how you feel," says Harold Graham. "It's not even a matter of how you think. It's a matter of your will. Your will is the part of you that makes your decisions. Either you will or you won't, or you do or you don't. It is that cut and dried. The difficulty is once you make that decision, your emotions will kick in and say, 'Time out, I really don't want to do this.'"
If you can let go and forgive, you will experience great freedom.
Nell Ann says, "He didn't deserve forgiveness. He didn't ask for it, and he didn't want it. I thought, Why should I forgive him? Finally I realized it was not for him. It was for me."
Cindy shares what she learned about forgiveness: "Forgiveness is the hardest thing in the world. I felt like my heart and gut had been ripped out and thrown against the wall and left for dead. When I met with the pastor, I said, 'I can't forgive him. This is too hard for me.' He said 'Let's look at it like a business deal. Let's say your husband owes you ten thousand dollars. Let's say he can never pay you back this ten thousand dollars. Forgive the debt. Just forgive the debt and move on. It doesn't mean you have to go back and do business with him.'"
Choose to forgive the debt. Your former spouse cannot repay you for all the hurt and pain. Forgive the debt and accept the freedom that comes with forgiveness.
"But with [God] there is forgiveness" (Psalm 130:4).