Forgiveness is a decision only you can make.
"Forgiveness is a decision you make," says Doug Easterday. "I can't do it for you. Even the person who offended you can't. God can't do it for you. You're the only one in the history of the world who can make this choice. Therefore, you have something to say about your own destiny if you choose to forgive."
James shares, "I didn't want to stand in God's way anymore. I wanted to do everything I possibly could to heal and not prolong the healing."
"Forgiveness," says Harold Graham, "is literally a decision that you make, and any decision must be followed by an action or it's the same net effect of not making the decision at all."
Writing in a journal can help you in the process of forgiveness. Make a list of whom you need to forgive. Write down what that person did to hurt you and what you wish had happened instead. You might want to write a letter to your former spouse, not to mail, but to use as an exercise of release that leads toward forgiveness. Tell your spouse in the letter how much you were hurt, all the agony, rage, and despair, and then tell your spouse how you are trying to learn to forgive. Tell your spouse how you have learned forgiveness is a choice and how forgiveness can only be accomplished through Christ. Write that you have chosen to forgive him or her and that you are moving on in your life.
"The Lord our God is merciful and forgiving, even though we have rebelled against him" (Daniel 9:9).