Saturday, June 5, 2010

New Relationships: Kid's Perspective

New relationships can have a profound effect on your children. You might be looking forward to having a new relationship, but, with few exceptions, your children are not.

Children for the most part don't want to share their parent with someone else. A new relationship can be scary, confusing, and uncomfortable for the children. Your own perspective on a new relationship is nothing like the perspective of your children. Listen to your children's fears and concerns and reassure your children how special and important they are to you. Always answer questions with thoughtfulness. You might be feeling giddy with the prospect of a new relationship, but your child is likely to be completely serious and concerned.

"Some children will encourage their parent to date; they say they want another mother or father," says Linda Jacobs. "Your children see how lonely and unhappy you are, and they think that if you found another partner, you would be happy. The children may put their own needs aside out of love for you." Carefully consider your children's possible motives for saying they want you to date. More than likely your children deep down really don't want you to date.

"See that you do not look down on one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven" (Matthew 18:10).

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