Wednesday, June 2, 2010


The way you deal with visitation and interact with your former spouse will affect your children. Take care that you communicate with your spouse in a way that is friendly and without blame for the sake of the children.

If you are struggling with visitation issues, here are some suggestions to better handle these difficulties:

"There are no good answers for visitation," says Dr. Bob Barnes. "It's not God's plan. It's not ideal. The best-case scenario is for you to decide that regardless of your ex, you are going to try to cooperate and compromise.

"Your ex may always want you to drop the children off and pick them up and never participates in the transportation. It's not fair, but you are not dealing with the nurturing of your ex anymore. You are dealing with the nurturing of your children. You don't want your children to arrive under strain all the time because you and your ex are furious with each other. The children lose here.

"You have to decide that you are going to go the extra mile. Maybe you've gone the extra mile for eight years now, and you are tired of it. Do it for the Lord's sake and for the children."

If you are angry or frustrated with your former spouse and you show it, then you are teaching your children to be angry and frustrated when things are unfair or things don't go their way.

"The righteous man leads a blameless life; blessed are his children after him" (Proverbs 20:7).

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