Where have you been looking for stability? Think carefully about the places and people you have gone to for feelings of assurance or acceptance. You may have searched in places you never thought you'd visit. You may be doing things that some part of you is repulsed by, but a stronger part of you can't help but keep doing in a desperate attempt to ease the pain.
"The process of alienation that occurs during divorce destroys your moral value system, and you end up doing things that you never thought you'd do in your whole life," says Dr. Jim A. Talley.
It is not uncommon for people to fall into alcohol, sex, drugs, meanness, or rage, seeking anything or anyone that will make them feel good at least for a moment.
"Finding true love in a bar," says Dr. Talley, "is like finding fish in the desert. You tend to go the wrong places first and finally end up in the right places."
Your moral value system may be buried, but it is still intact. It is never too late to change your ways. Start by nurturing your spiritual life. Open up the Bible. Visit a church. If that church does not embrace you, visit another. Cry out to God.
Pray this prayer with the psalmist:
"In you, O LORD, I have taken refuge; let me never be put to shame; deliver me in your righteousness. Turn your ear to me, come quickly to my rescue; be my rock of refuge, a strong fortress to save me. Since you are my rock and my fortress, for the sake of your name lead and guide me. Free me from the trap that is set for me, for you are my refuge. Into your hands I commit my spirit; redeem me, O LORD, the God of truth" (Psalm 31:1-5). Amen.