Forgiveness can seem utterly impossible. The hurt and rejection cut too deep. The pain is aggravated when it's not only your spouse who has wounded or abandoned you, but also your former spouse's parents or siblings, friends you had shared as a couple, or others who have chosen to "take sides."
You may justify your unforgiveness with many seemingly good reasons: "I can't forgive the lies and deception," "I can't forgive what he or she did to the children," "I can't forgive the shame he put me through," or "I can't forgive her for trying to turn my children against me."
"Many people," says Sabrina Black, "are sitting somewhere nursing their wounds and saying, 'It's not right. It's not fair; they should come back and make this up to me.' Those people keep getting hit. If they would get up, even though it's not right or fair, and get themselves into recovery, they will go on with their lives."
God commands us to forgive. Because He commands us, then it is possible for us to forgive, no matter what the circumstances. He doesn't promise that it will be easy, but He promises that it can be done.
"It'll take a miracle for me to forgive my husband and his mistress—well, our Lord is in the business of miracles," says Harriet.
"Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, 'Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?' Jesus answered, 'I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times'" (Matthew 18:21-22).