The Grief Response

Where there is death, there is grief. You have experienced the death of your relationship, and once the initial shock wears off, you must grieve.

Jan Northington shares, "I grieved my hopes and my dreams for the future. I had always dreamed of a family. I was going to raise my children with the love of a mom and a dad, and my kids were always going to see their mom and dad love each other. I grieved the loss of my newly remodeled home that I had to sell and leave, along with my neighbors, my church family, my job, and my coworkers. I had to grieve the standard of living that I had become accustomed to. I also had to grieve the dream that one day I would be a stay-at-home-mom because suddenly it looked like that would never ever happen. Not only did I grieve the loss of my husband's love, but I had to grieve the loss of the close connection I once shared with his family."

You have so much to grieve. Don't try to tough it out and ignore this step in the recovery process. Healing comes from acknowledging and releasing your emotions.

In the Bible, people grieved freely, loudly, and without embarrassment.

"The king's sons came in, wailing loudly. The king, too, and all his servants wept very bitterly" (2 Samuel 13:36).

"While Ezra was praying and confessing, weeping and throwing himself down before the house of God, a large crowd of Israelites—men, women and children—gathered around him. They too wept bitterly" (Ezra 10:1).

"Wail and cry out!" (Jeremiah 48:20).