How Do You Know If You've Recovered?

Anytime you do not feel anger, blame, self-pity, bitterness, or resentment, then you are experiencing recovery. If you think of your former spouse less often than you used to, this is a sign of recovery. If you are living in the present more than you are dwelling in the past, you are recovering. When you look back and see where you have been, that means you are in a position of recovery. The peace of Christ indicates recovery.

"I look back and think, 'Wow, I'm not in that hole anymore. I'm almost to the rim. I'm peeping over the edge here,'" says Howard.

"You have peace," says Dr. Robert Abarno. "That's the way you know you are in the center of God's directive will. God's peace passes all understanding."

Gary Richmond shares a story that a friend told him: "Gary, last night I was watching television, and I laughed right out loud. I said to myself, How can I be laughing? I'm being divorced." Gary's response to his friend was "This is a sign that you're healing. Let it happen."

Recovery does not mean you will not feel pain again. Painful moments will occur unexpectedly for several years. Be aware that this will happen, and when those painful moments hit you, be prepared to deal with them by countering them with prayer, Scripture, positive memories, or reaffirming statements. You can always look back and see how far you've come.

"Then maidens will dance and be glad, young men and old as well. I will turn their mourning into gladness; I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow" (Jeremiah 31:13).