Saturday, December 12, 2009

Concrete and Abstract Losses

Your depression is directly related to the losses you have experienced as a result of your divorce. There are two main types of losses: concrete and abstract. Concrete losses are measurable, such as the loss of income, a spouse, or your car. Abstract losses cannot be measured. These losses include the loss of self-esteem, dreams, or affection. Both types of losses are important and need to be grieved.

The greater your losses, the greater the depression.

"You will only grieve something that means something to you," says Bonnie Keen. "Grief is actually a way of honoring what your marriage meant. I did believe in my marriage. I did believe that I would stay married forever, and this is now a death. This is a grieving time."

Rose Sweet encourages you to express your grief: "You have to mourn all of your losses. Mourning is such an important part of the cleansing process. In the Bible, people would go out and mourn and wail and weep. We don't do that anymore. We stuff everything, and we try to smile for the camera. We forget that mourning is part of God's design for us to get all those negative feelings and energies out so that we can heal completely."

Allow yourself to grieve and to be depressed. You have sustained a major loss. Let your body do what it was designed to do.

"God blesses those who mourn, for they will be comforted" (Matthew 5:4 NLT).

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