"There are times when you may have legitimate desires to be assertive," says Dr. Les Carter, "but the person on the receiving end is just not going to hear it. That happens many, many times in divorce cases. Rather than going to the suppression of anger, there needs to be a willingness at those times to say, 'Let's leave the anger alone. I'm finished with it. It's in God's hands.'"
Lisa says, "The sooner you're able to let go of that anger and let God clean out the inside of you, the sooner you will be free of it and it won't hold you back like a ball and chain. When you're able to let go of that through God's help, then you'll be able to move forward with your life."
Dropping anger does not mean suppressing it. It is an acknowledgement that anger, at this point, is no longer useful. It is a willingness to forgive and be forgiven.
"Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all men. If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men. Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, 'Vengeance is mine, I will repay,' says the Lord" (Romans 12:17-19 NASB).