Monday, December 14, 2009


One sign of depression is a feeling of disconnectedness. You no longer feel that you are connected to other people. You aren't sure if you know how to connect with people anymore.

Not being able to relate to others is a serious loss, but it is a loss you can grieve and then remedy. Express your feelings of disconnectedness to God and then to another person: "I feel alone. No one understands me. I feel uncomfortable around people. Other people feel uncomfortable around me. I'm just bringing everyone down."

After you have acknowledged, expressed, and grieved your emotions, you must take steps to build friendships again. You need your family and friends to make it through this tough time.

James shares his experience: "I was driving home one day, and I told God that I wouldn't mind spending time with friends—maybe see a movie, watch a video, or get a pizza. That was my prayer.

"I went home, and soon after there was a knock on my door. The two friends at my doorstep, who had been to my house only twice in about six months, said, 'James, we're going to pick up videos and get a pizza.' So here it was, not fifteen minutes later, and I received answers to all three prayers. That is not a coincidence. God was visible. He said, 'James, I am always here. You just gotta see Me.'"

Remember, at this stage in your healing, it is important to focus on friendships with people of the same sex. You need more time to heal before you become romantically involved.

"By yourself you're unprotected. With a friend you can face the worst" (Ecclesiastes 4:12 Msg).

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