Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Give Anger a Voice

One healthy way to deal with anger is the assertive approach. An assertion is a positive and often forceful declaration. This is different from aggression.

Dr. Les Carter says, "There are times when somebody has violated your worth or your convictions, and you need to stand up for it. Not in a selfish way, but in a responsible way. Sometimes people ask me, 'Do I have a right to be angry?' I'll say, 'Let's take the word right and throw it away. That implies what's best for me and me alone. It can be a selfish word. Let's put the word responsibility in its place and ask it again: 'Do I have a responsibility to be angry?' Now, many times, the answer is, no, not really. Other times the answer is, yes, it would be an act of responsibility.

"Sometimes you do need to stand up for what's right and let someone know he or she violated your convictions. Sometimes you need to communicate in firm, unbending ways as to how you want to be respected. This can be done while also showing respect to the other person. It's a form of anger where you're seeking to solve problems and to preserve what's right, and you're trying to do so in a way that's going to be beneficial to all."

In the Bible, Paul was a man who spoke assertively. He encouraged the believers to speak out for what they believed and not let others trample on their words, hearts, and convictions. When your anger is justified, speak with the authority of the Lord.

"Encourage and rebuke with all authority. Do not let anyone despise you" (Titus 2:15).

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