Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Silent Anger

Some people have a passive-aggressive approach to anger. They act out their anger through practices such as silence, stubbornness, or procrastination. This is not a healthy release of anger.

Dr. Les Carter explains, "You may do many evasive things to create irritability in that other person. How many of you have been frustrated in an interaction, and you may be prone to giving the silent treatment or going into another room and saying nothing? Or I wonder how many times you may know someone wants you to do something and you procrastinate; you put things off, and you refuse to be cooperative. It's a form of expressing anger. You're trying to take care of yourself, of your turf so to speak, but you're doing it at the expense of someone else."

Any time that you express anger in a way that is unhealthy, you are not resolving your anger, and you are ultimately hurting only yourself.

Dr. Carter continues, "I've seen many individuals who have gone through the difficulties of divorce, who really don't work through it mainly because they continue to cling to unhealthy forms of anger."

People who have a passive-aggressive approach to anger may not realize they are angry or they may feel they are handling their anger well. After reading the descriptions above, consider if this is a response you have had; it is important in the divorce process to find one area at a time where problems can be addressed and healing can take place.

"But they did not listen or pay attention; instead, they followed the stubborn inclinations of their evil hearts. They went backward and not forward" (Jeremiah 7:24).

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