Monday, March 1, 2010

Illusion: Another Person Can Make You Happy

"You are only ready to start dating again when you don't feel like you have to have someone in order to be happy," says Marc.

Never depend on someone else for your happiness. Another person cannot make you happy, and it is not another person's responsibility to do so. If you are considering a new relationship, wait. If you are currently in a relationship, ask the other person to wait before taking the relationship further. There is not a set amount of time to wait. How long you wait depends on how long you were married before, how well you deal with conflicts, and on your personal rate of healing.

Gary Richmond says, "It takes one year of healing for every four years of marriage. Some people have control over that in terms of working it through, and different people heal at different rates, so it's a general statistic. But I've found over time that it's a wise statistic. One of the great tendencies of humanity is for us to say, 'It'll be different for me. This doesn't apply to me.' It really does."

Perhaps you, too, feel that your situation is different, that your new relationship is based on more than feelings or neediness. If that thought has come to your mind, prayerfully consider your past losses, your rate and method of grieving, your spiritual maturity, and your ability to find complete joy in being single. True happiness is found in a relationship with Jesus Christ.

"Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy" (1 Peter 1:8).

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