"There is a tendency for people who have been through the terrible wrenching event of divorce to live in the past," says Gary Richmond.
"Also, when they begin new relationships, they talk about that past with the new person. If the new person cares in conversation about it, a great illusion develops that both parties in the new relationship are becoming more intimate in sharing their feelings than they've ever been before, even with a former mate. They need to be careful to know that they haven't achieved great intimacy just by sharing their problems."
Intimacy with another person is more likely to be developed when you share your dreams for the future. This does not mean fantasies of having a new relationship, but the hopes and plans for your future that you will strive for with or without that other person. These are the dreams and goals God has called you to fulfill.
Juana shares an experience she had during her separation: "I can remember kneeling before God in that quiet, little apartment. I didn't know what the future held, but I could see God's goodness, and I could see that God had this goodness waiting for me in the future. I remember having confidence that my future with God was so bright, and now I am living it."
"The suffering won't last forever. It won't be long before this generous God who has great plans for us in Christ—eternal and glorious plans they are!—will have you put together and on your feet for good" (1 Peter 5:10 Msg).